Leader Burnout: Signs, Causes & How to Recover | Tami Robinson

Fernanda: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our leadership development channel. I'm Fernanda.

Today's conversation is one I've been looking forward to. So many of the leaders that I talk to are carrying a level of exhaustion that they just don't feel allowed to even identify. They keep showing up, smiling, and hitting their goals, and meanwhile, they're running on empty. Most of us have either lived that or watched someone we care about live it.

My guest today is Tami Robinson. Tami is a yoga therapist, coach, and founder of Wellness with Tami here in Charlotte. Before all of this, she spent years doing international work and leadership development for the federal government in Washington, D.C., where she got a front-row seat to watch that relentless pressure and see what it does to high achievers. We met while networking, and I was struck by how openly she talks about her own burnout and what she learned from it.

Today, we're going to talk about what burnout looks like, how it shapes the way we lead, and what we can do about it, even when the calendar is packed. A quick note before we start: this conversation is for education and inspiration, and it's not a substitute for advice from your doctor or your mental health professional.

Tami, welcome! I'm so glad you're here.

Tami Robinson: Oh, thank you so much! I'm so excited to be here and talk about this really important topic with you.

Fernanda: Yes, definitely. Thank you. So, Tami, you started in government leadership development and international work, and now you are a yoga therapist and coach. Can you walk us through that path and what pulled you in this direction?

Tami Robinson: Absolutely. So, after an award-winning career in national security-related research and analysis, my colleagues and I solved the problem we were working on. One of my bosses said, "Tami, you might as well retire right now. This doesn't happen often." He was joking, but I kind of said, "Hmm, maybe I should think about what this actually means for me."

I started to realize that as long as people are unhappy and at unrest in themselves, there are always going to be conflicts at the global level. I'm a big believer in that poem: in order for there to be peace in the world, there must be peace between nations, and then it goes all the way down to peace within the self. So I thought, "Okay, well, we've had an impact at the global level. Maybe it's time to start working with people at an individual level."

At the same time, I was studying yoga at a studio, and they got something called the Great Yoga Wall. I fell in love with it and decided to do teacher training with the person who created the training for that. Within a year, I left my stable—at the time, very stable—government job and decided to go learn how yoga can help with things like burnout and help us prevent burnout, and I also pursued coaching. I had already started doing leadership development within the government as part of my journey to figure out what was next. So yeah, I left, and I started doing the coaching, the yoga, and the leadership development.

Fernanda: Yeah. So it's almost like everything is coming together—your experience in your main career, then going into leadership development, and then into personal wellness with coaching and yoga.

You wrote in your blog about your years in that "skirt suit era"—taking the stairs in heels, hitting the gym at 5:30 a.m., staying late on Friday nights, sleeping until 3:00 p.m. on weekends. Wow. What did burnout actually feel like for you while you were in it?

Tami Robinson: That is a great question because I didn't always necessarily identify as being burned out at the time. I just lived a very full life, and I was very dedicated to the mission of the organization that I was working for. We would often get tasking that required us to stay late. I didn't mind, and even when I didn't have to stay late, sometimes I would simply because that's when it got quiet and I could get my work done.

So, I didn't necessarily realize it at the time. It took me going to my own coach to understand... I started experiencing some physical symptoms—extreme fatigue, gastrointestinal issues, just things not right. It took going to my own coach to realize, "Hey, the way you're living isn't quite healthy or normal." Just like anything, you have to take care of yourself.

What's so interesting is that even before I was working with the coach, I got certified in Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and was delivering that material to leaders all across the government. There's that "sharpen the saw" concept that Stephen Covey talks about: if you're too busy driving your car to go get gas, the car is going to run out of gas. That's the metaphor for your body as well. I just didn't put two and two together until I was working with my own coach.

Fernanda: That's so powerful. I can share from my own leadership experience, and being among other leaders, how I've seen people not putting gas in their car and neglecting their own health. It's so easy to prioritize work, stress, and deliverables over your own body.

You wrote a list of ten signs that self-discipline is trampling your self-care, including always being tired, always rushing, struggling to say no, and feeling resentful without knowing why. Which of those do you see most often in leaders?

Tami Robinson: I see struggling to say no pretty often. In fact, I just led a conversation with one of my networking groups two weeks ago about this very topic. We so often struggle to say no.

Especially if you have your own business and you're working with clients, you don't want any resentment building up towards those clients—or anyone that you're working with, even your family members. If you have a hard time saying no in your family, you feel like you're not allowed to accept help, that it might be a sign of weakness. When in reality, the only reason humans are living is because we help each other. We live in community, we work in community, and we all have a role to play.

Fernanda: Yeah. It's almost like re-educating leaders that it's okay to ask for help, and that it's okay to say no to certain things in order to take care of yourself.

You mentioned that it's hard to know when there's a leak in your energy without self-study. What does that practice of checking in with yourself look like for a busy executive in real life?

Tami Robinson: Yeah, it can look like a lot of different things. Self-study is a concept that comes from yoga philosophy, and for some of us, it comes naturally, while for others, it doesn't. For some of us, it's really difficult to look at ourselves and actually face the truth of what we're experiencing in our lives.

Some of the ways we can do that:

• Journaling: That's an easier entry point. It doesn't have to be a lot—just bullet points about how you're feeling at various points through the day and tracking that over time.

• Seeking feedback: Asking a loved one, "What are you noticing about me?" Or when getting feedback from a loved one, rather than acting defensively, take it in. Say, "Okay, maybe they're right. Maybe I am snapping more than I usually do. Maybe I'm less patient."

• Meditation: Sitting with your breath, sitting and just having a certain focal point, whether it's the breath, an image that brings you peace, or a word of affirmation.

There are lots of different ways to meditate. It doesn't mean you have to make your mind completely still—that's actually one of the biggest myths about meditation. It's not about making the mind blank; it's about focusing it on one particular thing for some time.

Fernanda: Yes! Thank you for bringing that up, because I think a lot of people are so busy they think, "I don't have time to meditate." But it could literally be two minutes—taking deep breaths and centering on yourself or a part of your body.

Tami Robinson: Exactly, yes! People think they're too busy to meditate, and they also think they're failures at meditation because they sit and their mind is going everywhere. That's what the mind does! That's simply a part of the process—to notice it running around and bring it back to focus.

Fernanda: You ask a question that I think is very important: "What does my nervous system need right now?" Can you share the story of leaving a yoga class angry and what it taught you about meeting yourself where you are?

Tami Robinson: Yes! Years ago when I was living in Chicago, I was taking classes from one of the nation's top yoga teachers. Normally I loved his classes, but one day I left and I was so mad. I was fuming. That's not how you want to leave a yoga class, right? Usually, you feel a sense of relief and relaxation. But I was practically growling with steam coming out of my ears.

I really had to ask myself, "What is going on? This is not like you." I'm not an angry person in general at all. What I discovered after looking at myself was that his class was great, but it was not a match for what I needed that day.

For years, I had been teaching all around Chicago—up to 20 plus classes and private sessions a week—and driving all over the city to do them. It was too much; I was wearing myself out. The traffic in Chicago alone can cause a lot of stress!

Fernanda: Traffic in Chicago is no joke!

Tami Robinson: Exactly! You put the weather on top of it, parking, snow... it was just too much. It was a really interesting turning point for me where I realized: okay, you have to start paying attention to these things. You can't just keep pushing through. It was learning that same lesson of not letting self-discipline override your self-care.

Fernanda: In other words, instead of forcing yourself to go through an intense class, centering on yourself and asking what you really need—which might be laying down on the ground and taking deep breaths instead.

Tami Robinson: Yeah. What I could have done was still go to that class, but let the teacher know: "Hey, I really want to be here with the group, but there are going to be times when I do something a little different because I need rest more than an active class today. Is it okay if I do that?" He would have said, "Please!" and had an assistant make sure I was taken care of.

Fernanda: Usually, yoga teachers are all for resting and doing whatever you need, so that's amazing.

A lot of leaders hear things like "just meditate" or "just exercise," and they end up feeling like they failed at self-care. How do you help someone figure out whether they need rest, movement, or a boundary in a given moment?

Tami Robinson: When I work with someone, whether in yoga therapy or coaching, I do a thorough intake to understand what physical symptoms they're feeling and what else is going on in their lives. That helps me determine what paths may be helpful. Then it's a co-creative process where we work together to find solutions or practices that get them where they want to go.

Part of that is scaling appropriately. When people read generic articles suggesting what to do to be healthy, it's not personalized to them. They might think, "Oh, that means I need to lift heavy weights six days a week for two hours." But for someone whose nervous system is shot, that's going to be too much. You've got to titrate—take small bits, start small, and slowly expand what the person is able to do.

Fernanda: That must be really hard for overachievers or leaders who are used to steamrolling their health for deliverables. But it's important to remember that sometimes being gentle is the most powerful thing you can do. A lot of us forget that because we're all about doing.

Tami Robinson: Myself included! This is one of those lessons I am here to learn in my life at lots of different levels. One of my mentors says, "New level, same devil." You've overcome the challenge at one level, and then if it's a lesson you're meant to keep learning, at another point you get challenged with that same kind of issue at a higher level.

Fernanda: I've never heard that saying, but it makes a lot of sense! How does chronic stress show up in the way a leader makes decisions, communicates, and shows up for their team?

Tami Robinson: Oh my goodness, this is a good one. What I see a lot are leaders who think they don't have time to answer questions from the people who work for them. They don't pay attention to the way they communicate and the harm that can cause.

The biggest signal you can look for is if people are leaving your team. The number one reason people leave a role is because of their direct manager. If people are leaving because you're not taking the time to respectfully ask for things or thank them for their work, that's a major sign.

Fernanda: Or even taking time for strategic conversations or development. I'm always surprised when I see operational leaders who are all about transactions—status of the project, this crisis, that crisis—and all of a sudden a year goes by and they haven't had any development conversations or taken a breath to slow down with their team. Those things might seem "fluffy" to an operational leader, but they're actually really important. If you're overstressed and letting work take over, you're not in control of your time.

Tami Robinson: Absolutely. And even when they do take time for the conversation, if they're doing it just to check a box instead of really caring about their direct report's growth, it falls flat.

Fernanda: You said that when you don't model self-care, you're asking people to do as you say and not as you do. What happens to a team culture when the leader never rests?

Tami Robinson: That is a tough one. Having worked in a mission-driven organization keeping our country safe, sometimes it requires working long hours or telling others to go home while you stay late. But as long as you're finding balance and taking care of yourself as well as your people, you can sustain it. If you work until 2:00 a.m. three nights in a row, you take the next two days off. You've got to show that balance.

Fernanda: You're making me think of those TV shows like Homeland or The West Wing where government workers have no life whatsoever!

Tami Robinson: Sometimes it is like that! Those of us who go into that line of work want to be of service and make the world a better place. But it's not sustainable over time. It will eventually show up in the form of illness if it's not balanced out with self-care.

Fernanda: Let's talk about boundaries and delegation. You talk about saying no and giving someone else the chance to shine. Many leaders struggle with delegating. What's going on underneath that struggle, and what helps?

Tami Robinson: It's different for everyone, but what I see a lot are people who are used to going it alone and don't feel it's okay to ask for help. There's also the mindset of: "If I don't do it, it won't get done right."

People think they're being selfless by taking everything on, but it's actually kind of selfish. When you don't delegate, you deprive someone else of the opportunity to learn a new skill for their development, or the joy of helping. Research shows that having the opportunity to help others is actually good for your own nervous system and health. Plus, they're learning!

Fernanda: So, let's get practical. You offer small ways to layer wellness into a packed schedule—like lengthening the exhale, padding the calendar with buffers, or moving during bathroom breaks. If a leader could only try two or three things this week, what would you suggest?

Tami Robinson: I like sharing sneaky little things people can do even while sitting around a table in a boardroom when their nervous system gets activated:

1. Grounding: Feel your feet on the ground and your rear end in the chair. Just noticing what is physically touching you brings you back into your body so you can take a few breaths and come down from that activation.

2. Havening: Gently rub your hands together as if you're putting on lotion, nice and slowly. It's a calm, soothing way to reset the nervous system.

3. Micro-movements: To keep stress from getting stuck in the body, shake out your hands under the table.

There are lots of quick ways to fit resets into your day that don't require taking an hour-long nap or an hour-long restorative yoga class.

Fernanda: You've also said that rest is productivity, not laziness. How would you talk to a leader who believes rest is a luxury they can't afford right now?

Tami Robinson: It's a matter of perspective. Because of my experience working in situations where lives could be at stake, that's my threshold: if no one is going to die or be severely compromised, it can wait. Taking a five-minute break to ground yourself is an investment.

Fernanda: That's a great point. In corporate environments, colleagues and I used to joke, "It's just plastic shoes!" or "It's just burgers!" There's a lot of scrutiny, but no one is going to die.

Tami Robinson: Right! And in fact, if you rush while stressed and mess up the product or decision, it could be even worse!

Fernanda: If you could change one thing about how organizations treat stress and workload, what would it be? What could HR leaders and senior executives do to make it easier for people to take care of themselves?

Tami Robinson: There's often a disconnect. Leaders and HR folks say, "You need to take care of yourself," but they don't follow it up with practical, strategic ways to free up time.

If someone is working long hours and a boss tells them, "Go home and rest!" while their workload remains massive, they think, "How can I go home? I have so much to do!"

There have to be real conversations around workload expectations, which have gotten out of control. We need flexible schedules—like working four days and taking Friday off if deliverables are met—and structural changes to support actual wellness.

Fernanda: I agree. Wellness issues cost companies through higher health insurance premiums, turnover, and burnout—costs far greater than offering flexible hours or time for a retreat.

Tami, where can people find you and learn more about your work?

Tami Robinson: My website is wellnesswithtami.com. If you go to wellnesswithtami.com/meditationguide, there's a free guide to help you learn more about my approach. I'm also Tami Robinson Coach on LinkedIn and @WellnessWTamy on Instagram.

Fernanda: I feel like we could talk for hours more! How long does it usually take for someone to recover from burnout?

Tami Robinson: It's very individual. It depends on whether habits outside of work change. If the underlying lifestyle habits don't change, you'll run into burnout again. Everyone's nervous system recovers at its own pace.

Fernanda: It definitely took me a long time when I was burnt out.

Tami, thank you so much for being here and for being so honest about your story. My biggest takeaways today are that your body is giving you information all the time, rest helps you lead better, and taking care of yourself is how you take care of the people who count on you.

If you want to connect with Tami, check out the links in the description below. To everyone watching: what's one sign of burnout you recognized in yourself today, and what's one small thing you're going to try this week? Share it in the comments below!

If this conversation helped you, please like, subscribe, and share it with a leader you care about. Thank you for spending this time with us, and I'll see you on the next episode!

Fernanda Brasileiro

Consultant & Strategist

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